noter

noter I miss the times when we were on the same page. I miss what it feels like to come home and see you waiting for me. We were so young, and I was foolish. You say I don't care, but I care in ways I'll never be able to convey. I miss the warmth of your skin against my fingertips. I miss your arms around you. I just miss you.

noter It's that moment. That moment of being so sure that you can give your everything to someone. It's the way they can reach past every one of your barriers and break down all of your walls without you even noticing. It's the way you want to feel vulnerable and embarrassed with them, but you really can't. It's the way there's suddenly all that trust between you, trust that seems to have come up out of nowhere. That's what it is. That's love. That's you.

noter music blasting an electronic beat, but nothing beats as fast as my pulse under his lips, mouth trailing down my neck. his hair is short underneath my fingers, and i tug ever so slightly, as his tongue tangles once again with mine. there is only darkness and lips, my hand tangled in his tshirt, his palms against my back pulling me closer over the console of the car between us. my mouth tastes of fire and of heat, desire turning my cheeks a brighter shade, because of him. him. him. his hands leave whispers of wanting across my stomach and i ignite, tugging him closer, dissolving any space that existed between us. i am a wildfire. he is gasoline.

noter It's been a rough couple of months and you've never left my side. You took care of me. You stay with me through it all. I love you to the moon and back and more than all the stars in the sky. You are my world. And I've never been happier in my life. I love you.

noter You've been my rock. You've been the one thing that I can always count on. Thank you for being mine and only mine. BeepBeepBoop.

noter I miss you. I miss our conversations. I miss our closeness. I miss your face.

noter I hate that I feel like we are all growing apart. We grew up together it feels like, been through a lot good and bad. But we're grown up now and living our own lives. But I will always love all 3 of you like brothers and another part of me. I miss and love you lads.

noter There are so many little things, big and small, that I love about you, like how you smell and the way that one piece of your hair always tries to do its own thing. The feel of your skin and how gentle your hands are. The warmth in your eyes that I can see even though they're dark brown, and that unique little curve in the corner of your lips when you smile. I love how you feel laying next to me, how warm we are all cuddled together in the morning, and how I don't have to explain myself when I brush my teeth half a dozen times a day because you do the same thing, so you understand. The way all those little things make my heart ache just a little bit whenever I experience them, just enough to remind me each time, with each little detail, how special you are to me. And, I love how deep you are, even though sometimes it causes you to bottle things up inside; it makes me realize there's still uncovered layers of you that I want to get to know more. Even though sometimes you don't like to talk about the thoughts that weigh in your mind, I'm learning more about you every day from your work, and the unseen glimpses of you that you do share with me. I love how we are learning to understand each other better, my insecurities and yours, and using that to build something beautiful. How you've broken down my walls and convinced me to trust to the point where all those little things, life today just wouldn't be the same without them. ♡

noter Choosing something to write here and not break the text limits of the entire internet has proven to be difficult, so I'm going to go with the first thing that sprang to mind when I saw this. When we say goodnight, whether we're in person or thousands of miles apart, you don't just tell me you love me. You tell me you love me "very much" or "so very much". That's always stuck out to me. I don't even know that I can explain why, but it has. Maybe it's that I actually feel it, and feel like you say it not out of habit but because you often tell me that the amount of love you have for me is so big, so maybe just the usual words to express the feeling and to say goodnight aren't ever enough. All this time later it still makes me smile when you say it. I don't want it to ever stop.

noter what i love about you, multiple yous. you are amazing and some of the best friends a girl could have. you each inspire me in your own ways, and i admire you very much. i don't know what i'd do without you. you're always there when i need you. and i will always be right here for you. i have never been that great with words so i'll end it here. you all make me so very proud, and i am honoured to be one you call a friend.

noter I love that even in the midst of the worst day of our lives, you still held my hand.

noter Thank you for the second chance to love you.

noter Our bromance is better than some actual romances.

noter I'll never be able to tell you how I really feel.

noter I get you, you get me. You make me feel I am never alone in this world. You remind me that there is no reason to be anything but ourselves. We keep each other wild.

noter It was good while it lasted, wasn't it? Wasn't it? Thanks for the laughs, for the invincibilty of a moment.

noter I wake up, you're asleep beside me, and there's a plane ticket on the counter and I have to go. The countdown of minutes passing quicker than the hum of your breathing, but my feet won't move, don't move, because I find myself clinging to the moments where I feel close to you. Those moments fade in and out, in like waves on the beach that we played on once when I knew I loved you, out like me trying to dress without disturbing you, because our last exchange on my mind, eyes so heavy you were looking at me, and you spoke, your words blurring before they hit my ears, on the edge of a dream, but you could have been talking grocery lists, I, only, heard, "You belong" and I wanted to hold onto it, let it hang in the air as peacefully as you looked then.